Fakety Fake Fake

Ladies, I’m here to tell you that most swimsuits aren’t designed for natural bodies.

No surprise, huh?

Let’s just say that the new fake ladies look smashing in a swimsuit. Given that they are fake as fake can be (in case you missed the whole BRCA/breast cancer/double mastectomy/salpingoopherectomy/hysterectomy posts: Tall Boots and Big Girl Panties), some clothes don’t fit as well as they used to. There are a few exceptions.

Swimsuits and strapless dresses.

I’ve never been able to wear a strapless dress with much comfort. But, with the fakey McFakesters, the dresses stay up with ease. I should have had some snaps or magnets installed for some very easy accessorizing.

Given the choice, I would have chosen my old real ones over the new fake ones, but I am glad I chose reconstructive surgery. I’m also glad I chose the surgery that I did. One surgeon told me that if I chose this surgery, it wouldn’t look as natural as the result of the more complicated surgery involving back or stomach muscles. Oh well. I’m ok with a little bit of fake-looking if it allows me to get back to doing the things I enjoy.

Pulling back my 45 lb compound bow. Check.

Swinging an adz and digging a trench in the garden.

Picking up and carrying my 50lb kid. Check.

And now I do all of those things while wearing a swimsuit.

Not really. Maybe. No.