Ladies, I’m here to tell you that most swimsuits aren’t designed for natural bodies.

No surprise, huh?

Let’s just say that the new fake ladies look smashing in a swimsuit. Given that they are fake as fake can be (in case you missed the whole BRCA/breast cancer/double mastectomy/salpingoopherectomy/hysterectomy posts: Tall Boots and Big Girl Panties), some clothes don’t fit as well as they used to. There are a few exceptions.

Swimsuits and strapless dresses.

I’ve never been able to wear a strapless dress with much comfort. But, with the fakey McFakesters, the dresses stay up with ease. I should have had some snaps or magnets installed for some very easy accessorizing.

Given the choice, I would have chosen my old real ones over the new fake ones, but I am glad I chose reconstructive surgery. I’m also glad I chose the surgery that I did. One surgeon told me that if I chose this surgery, it wouldn’t look as natural as the result of the more complicated surgery involving back or stomach muscles. Oh well. I’m ok with a little bit of fake-looking if it allows me to get back to doing the things I enjoy.

Pulling back my 45 lb compound bow. Check.

Swinging an adz and digging a trench in the garden.
Check.

Picking up and carrying my 50lb kid. Check.

And now I do all of those things while wearing a swimsuit.

Not really. Maybe. No.